But let’s not address climate change, so polluters can make even more money. Because reasons.
Oh my, the vapors…
My fellow Texans, I love you down to your bones, but you are such drama queens it isn’t funny. No one is coming to take your guns. No one. It’s not going to happen. Muslim Socialist Dark Lord Hussein Obama is not going to parachute into your chimney from an unmarked helicopter to empty your gun cabinet. There will be no National Guard trucks rumbling down your street and discharging jackbooted thugs to forcibly exchange your assault rifles for celery stalks from Michelle’s garden. So take some smelling salts, fan yourselves and go to sleep with your AR-15s. Suck your thumbs if necessary, and perhaps the Cowboys will go to New Orleans in your dreams. It’s all going to be okay.